A student’s guide to safer swiping, respectful flirting, and digital consent.
By: Eva Bloom
There are 364 million people worldwide using dating apps – and they’ve completely transformed how we find, meet, and explore relationships. On campus, they can be a great way to connect with people who share your interests, values, or just your algorithm humour.
But with so many swipes and conversations, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or run into awkward (or just plain uncomfortable) moments. That’s why learning about consent culture and the dos and don’ts of dating apps is key. Especially during college, when your time, energy, and boundaries matter more than ever.
What is consent culture?
Consent culture is a set of behaviours and values that support everyone’s freedom to opt in or out of any experience.
For example, if you’re watching a horror movie and your friend realizes it’s scarier than they expected, it’s totally okay for them to ask to switch to something else. Consent also shows up in everyday moments, like asking before you post a group photo online. You might think your friend looks awesome in that photo, but checking in first could save them from embarrassment or even prevent issues with their family over a post you assumed was a-okay.
Consent culture also strives to shift many of our current cultural norms, like persuading others to say “yes” to participate in an experience they have said “no” to or reflecting before we make an unwanted comment about someone’s image. So many of us grew up with examples of relationships, love, and romance perpetuating these harmful behaviours. Think of the movie Twilight - so many of us “awww-ed” at Bella and Edward’s romance, when in real life, if someone snuck into our room to watch us sleep, that would be seriously scary.
Creating a consent culture through dating apps might feel like a big task, but in reality, it takes many small actions that centre respect and kindness, and foster self-awareness.
It’s also important to remember that we’re always learning! If you’ve been using dating apps and realize you’ve accidentally done something that has made someone uncomfortable – it’s okay! Being kind to yourself and recognizing what you can change are the first steps in having healthier experiences with dating apps.
So, from setting up a profile to going on a first date with the cutie of your dreams, here are a few Do’s and Don'ts when using dating apps:
Transparecy is key.
The built-in app settings aren’t just fun features! Make sure to include in your profile:
Relationship style you’re looking for (ie, casual connections, friends, romantic relationships, monogamy, polyamory, etc.)
Lifestyle habits and hobbies.
Age and any other aspect of your identity that’s relevant to you.
A clear and recent photo of yourself.
By filling in what you’re seeking out of dating with honesty, others can make informed decisions if they think it’s a good fit, and you will have more authentic connections!
2. Good things take time.
Matching with someone on a dating app means they are interested in getting to know you to determine if you’re a good fit for a date, not that they are on board for intimacy.
Approach the first message like you would if your friend were introducing you to their friend at a party. “Hi,” “Hello”!
A great way to get the conversation flowing is to ask a question based on something in their profile. Do they have a picture of themselves travelling? Ask about the trip! Do they have a prompt about their favourite TV show? Ask about favourite characters.
3. Persistence is not always the answer.
Maybe your match has a packed day on campus, or they are not active on their app anymore, or their friend needs post-breakup support. Mutual interest in a dating app doesn’t mean people will give you priority.
Respect their pace and let things unfold naturally.
4. Invite mindfulness to the chat.
Take your time to read through profiles and reflect on whether someone is a good match before swiping left. Be mindful and honest about the kind of connection or experiences you are looking for – Nobody wants to be burned out from using dating apps carelessly!
Plus, reflecting on your values, deal breakers, and safe(r) sex practices ahead of time can help you feel more confident and grounded when dating and talking about boundaries and intimacy. Normalize those conversations – they’re part of what makes dating feel good and safe for everyone.
5. Public spaces are always a good idea.
Coffee dates make great first dates! Meeting in public can provide a greater level of safety, and it’s easy to end the date early if things don’t feel aligned. If the date is going fun and flirty, moving things to dinner or someone’s house is okay if you’re both aligned!
Extra Tip! 💡 Always share your location with a friend when meeting with someone new.
6. Think before you share.
You might feel an instant connection with someone online, but asking or sending photos or personal information can cause others to feel uncomfortable. Digital consent means having control over what information, images, or personal details you choose to share, and when. That includes asking before sending or requesting intimate content (like nudes or voice notes), and being mindful of screenshots or sharing someone else’s messages without permission.
Sharing someone’s private messages or images without their permission is a serious breach of trust and, in some cases, illegal.
Remember that your boundaries apply just as much online as they do in person. You get to choose what stays private, and it’s totally okay to say, “I’d rather keep that to myself for now.”
Happy and Responsible Swiping!
These small yet powerful habits make a big difference in creating better experiences for yourself and others when using dating apps. Creating a consent culture, where everyone feels safe and empowered to say “yes,” “no,” “maybe,” or something beyond, is everyone’s responsibility! 💖
This blog was brought to you by Eva Bloom
Eva Bloom (they/them) is an award-winning non-binary queer sexual educator with a MSc in Psychology of Sexuality and more than 10 years of experience as an educator and speaker.
Follow their work at @whatsmybodydoing and evabloom.ca
Curious about how we can support your sexual wellness?
The SSU is committed to helping students feel empowered in every part of their health journey. From free condoms and menstrual pads across campus to free PAP tests and wellness events – we’ve got you covered. Explore all the Sexual Health Support available to Sheridan students, and keep diving into health-related content from your community!
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