The Art of Going Alone

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Finding confidence, freedom, and unexpected joy in your own company.

By: Laura

Doing things on your own can be a nerve-racking experience. Most of us are not accustomed to it. We grow up surrounded by family, friends, classmates, coworkers, or simply people who keep us company. We get used to having someone beside us when we go somewhere new, try something for the first time, or even do something as simple as going out for dinner. Because of this, the idea of doing things alone can sometimes feel uncomfortable, awkward, or even a little scary. 

Learning how to enjoy your own company is not something that happens overnight. It takes time to become comfortable with being alone, especially when you are used to having someone else around. When I first moved here, I was exposed to so many different experiences and opportunities that I did not have access to back home. There were concerts I wanted to attend, exhibitions I wanted to see, restaurants I wanted to try, and so many places I wanted to explore. The problem was that I was always hesitant to do them because I was waiting for someone else to come with me. 

Eventually, I realized that waiting for someone else meant that I was also missing out on things I genuinely wanted to experience. Our friends can be busy, our schedules might not line up, and sometimes the people around us simply will not be interested in the same things we are. That does not mean we should have to give up on those experiences. 

Experiences are some of the most important things we collect throughout our lives. Many things come and go, but the memories we make by doing the things we have always wanted to do can stay with us for years. Sometimes, the best memories come from moments we were initially too scared to experience. 

I understand how difficult it can be to overcome that fear. The best strategy I have found is to stop overthinking it and simply start somewhere. I like to think of it as exposure therapy. You do not have to start by going to a huge concert alone or sitting at a fancy restaurant by yourself. Start small and take baby steps until you become more and more comfortable doing things on your own. 

Here are a few things you can try: 

Go for a Walk 🚶🏽

It may sound trivial, but we are starting small. Going for a walk is one of the easiest ways to get comfortable spending time by yourself. You do not need a plan, and you do not have to go anywhere specific. Just put on some comfortable clothes, step outside, and enjoy your surroundings. 

Going for a walk can also be a great way to clear your mind. You can listen to music, explore a new area, or simply let your thoughts wander. I know that sometimes being alone with your thoughts can feel overwhelming, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. Giving yourself time to think without distractions can help you see things from a different perspective and even come up with new ideas. 

It is such a simple activity, but it can be the first step toward becoming more comfortable with your own company. Once you realize that being alone does not necessarily mean being lonely, you might find yourself wanting to spend more time doing things independently. 

Go to the Movies 🎥

One of the best activities to do on your own is going to see a movie. There have been so many times when I wanted to see a particular movie, but none of my friends were interested, they were busy, or our schedules just never aligned. For a long time, that meant I would simply wait until someone could come with me. 

Going to the movies alone is the perfect introduction to a solo date. When I did it for the first time, I was shaking with anxiety. I thought everyone was looking at me, wondering why I was alone, or feeling sorry for me. In reality, I quickly realized that most people were completely focused on themselves and the movie they came to see. 

Once the lights went down, I forgot that I was even alone. I got to watch a movie I genuinely wanted to see without having to compromise with anyone else. I could choose the time, the seat, the snacks, and the movie. Now, whenever there is something I really want to watch, I do not hesitate to go by myself. 

Go to Dinner 🥘

I will admit that this was one of the hardest things on this list for me. Going to dinner alone made me extremely anxious because I always felt like everyone was staring at me and wondering why I was sitting by myself.  If you are nervous about trying this, I suggest starting with a low-stakes dinner. You could go to a casual restaurant, a pub, a café, or somewhere you already feel comfortable. A casual environment can take away some of the pressure that comes with going somewhere more formal. 

There have been so many times when I was craving something specific but hesitated to go because no one was available to come with me. Eventually, I realized that waiting for someone else meant I was constantly putting off things I wanted to enjoy. 

Eating alone can actually be incredibly peaceful. You can take your time, enjoy your food, people-watch, read something, listen to music, or simply sit and enjoy the moment. There is also something really nice about treating yourself simply because you want to. You do not need a special occasion or someone else to make it worth doing. 

Go to a Concert 🎵

This was probably the scariest thing on the list for me. 
Going to a concert alone felt completely different from going to a movie or getting dinner. I was terrified. I kept thinking about everything that could go wrong. How long would it take to get there? How would I get home? What would I do while waiting for the concert to start? Would I look weird standing there by myself? 

The first time I went to a concert alone, I was completely overwhelmed with anxiety. But once the lights went down and the artist came onto the stage, none of those thoughts mattered anymore. All of the anxiety I had been carrying disappeared, and I was able to enjoy the show. 

What surprised me the most was how quickly I stopped feeling alone. I ended up talking to people in line and even made some friends during the concert. Everyone there was there for the same reason. We were all excited to see the same artist, and that shared interest created an immediate connection. 

Going to a concert alone taught me that doing something independently does not necessarily mean you will be isolated. Sometimes, it can actually make you more open to meeting new people and having unexpected conversations. 

Go to a Museum, Art gallery, or Exhibition 🎨

As I mentioned before, there is something incredibly rewarding about finally seeing the things you have always wanted to see. Recently, I went to see the Monet exhibition at the AGO. None of my friends were able to go, but Monet is one of my favourite painters, and I knew I would regret missing it just because I could not find someone to go with me. 

So, I went alone. 

And I do not regret it one bit. 

In fact, going alone allowed me to take my time and look at everything at my own pace. I did not have to worry about whether someone else was ready to leave or whether they were enjoying the exhibition as much as I was. I could spend as long as I wanted looking at a painting that caught my attention. 

The exhibition is gone now, but I have the memory of experiencing it. I know that if I had waited for someone else to go with me, I might have missed it completely. 

And if you are wondering how I have pictures of myself if I went alone, I asked a stranger to take them! That can feel awkward too, but I love keeping memories of the places I visit and the things I experience, so it was worth asking. 

Finally, my biggest piece of advice is simple: just go! 😊

If there is something you genuinely want to do, do it. I know that is much easier said than done. Fear and anxiety can be very convincing, especially when your mind starts creating all the possible reasons why you should stay home. 

But I promise that once you get through the first time, the next time becomes a little easier. Eventually, you might stop thinking about whether you should go alone and start thinking about what you would miss if you did not go. 

You do not have to force yourself into situations that make you genuinely uncomfortable or unsafe. Being independent does not mean ignoring your boundaries. It means allowing yourself to experience new things, even when there is a little bit of discomfort involved. 

Sometimes, being uncomfortable is simply part of trying something new. And sometimes, that small amount of discomfort is worth it when you end up with a memory you will never forget. 

Life is full of experiences that we cannot always wait for someone else to share with us. Your friends and family will always be an important part of your life, but learning to enjoy your own company gives you another kind of freedom. You can go where you want, see what you want, eat what you want, and experience things simply because they make you happy. 

So, the next time you find yourself saying, “I would love to do this, but nobody can come with me,” maybe consider going anyway. Take the first step. You might be surprised by how much you enjoy it. 🤗

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Looking for more experiences? 

Check out all the fun events the SSU has planned for you. Come alone or bring your friends, meet new people, and explore all the different experiences the SSU has to offer. You never know which event might become one of your favourite memories. 

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Want to read more student experiences?

Take a look at this other stories, experiences and reflections shared by students and dive into the these blogs, who knows you might find a piece you relate to 😌

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