Four Lessons That Guide My Life
By: Monica
Some books entertain you. Some books teach you things. And then there are books that gently sit with you and change the way you move through the world, change your perspective, and open up new mindset for the rest of your life. For me, The Four Agreements is that book. The first time I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz was back in 2020. A year when a lot of us were forced to slow down, reflect, and rethink the way we live. Ever since that first read, I’ve been carrying its lessons with me and trying to apply them in my life. These are the lessons I’ve carried with me throughout the years:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
This agreement taught me that words are powerful. Not just the ones I say to others, but even the ones I say to myself.
Before reading this book, I didn’t realize how I habitually spoke negatively about myself. It was an automatic response every time I did something wrong. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I always mess things up” felt harmless at the time and something normal for me. But this agreement made me self-aware that those words shape how I see and treat myself and affects how I show up in the world.
Being impeccable with my word doesn’t mean being perfect. It reminds me to speak with integrity, to avoid gossip, and to use my voice to uplift instead of tear down—especially my own. Ever since then, I carefully and intentionally choose my words.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
This one hit me the hardest, helped me the most, and is by far my favourite one! I used to take things very personally: silence, tone changes, situations. This agreement helped me understand that people’s actions and words are reflections of their experiences, beliefs, and emotions. That it has nothing to do with me.
Learning not to take things personally gave me freedom. Freedom from overanalyzing and overthinking. Freedom from playing scenarios in my head. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. It just means I care without letting everything define me. It helps me to take a step back and see the situation from a different perspective. I’ve changed the way I view situations and best believe it really is freeing because you are not attached to the situation.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
I didn’t realize how much stress in my life came from assumptions until I read this agreement. Assuming what people think. Assuming intentions. Assuming why people did this and that. Assuming outcomes before anything even happens. Assuming makes me anxious of the situation.
This agreement taught me the value of clarity. Asking questions. Communicating openly. Giving people the chance to explain themselves instead of filling in the blanks with fear or doubt. It reminded me that peace often comes from curiosity, not conclusions. This helped me to not create my own conclusion.
4. Always Do Your Best
This agreement sounds cliché and simple but often we don’t realize the weight and importance of doing it. “Doing your best” looks different every day. Some days, my best is being productive and focused. Other days, my best is simply showing up and getting through the day. It varies from time to time depending on your situtation. A sick day is different with a day that you feel okay. But under any circumstance, simply doing your best, whatever your definition of best is, means showing up for yourself. This agreement taught me that effort matters more than perfection, and that self-compassion is just as important as discipline. When I do my best—whatever that looks like in the moment—I can let go of regret and self-judgment. I learn, I grow, and I move forward.
That’s why The Four Agreements remains one of my favourite books. I’ve made a pact with myself to reread it every year, as a way to refresh my perspective and reconnect with the lessons that continue to guide me. I’ve let my friends borrow my book and they too have the same sentiments about it. They appreciate the lessons, and it changed the way they see life. It doesn’t just stay on my shelf—I carry it with me and share it with friends. The way I’m sharing it through this blog.
Starting college can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. From free health care to hidden discounts and the best way to actually make friends, here’s everything I wish I had known during my first year at Sheridan. 😌📝